all your dreams are gone

hardcorehand @ 2004-09-29T01:17:00

2004-09-29T08:26:35Z

dont just stand up for what you believe is wrong. repel it from your life entirely. then you will know happiness.

hardcorehand @ 2004-09-26T13:09:00

2004-09-26T20:08:59Z

sometimes i really wonder what the effin point is.

hardcorehand @ 2004-09-22T23:43:00

2004-09-23T07:06:56Z

What Would You do if...
I cried: CRY
I said I liked you: SAY I LOVE YOU
I kissed you: KISS BACK
I was hospitalized: SIT AT YOUR BEDSIDE
I got in a fight and you were there: BEAT SOME ASS
I got dumped: BEAT SOME ASS
I pissed you off: GET OVER IT

Would You...
Be my friend: DUH
Tell me the truth no matter what: DUH
Lie to make me feel better: SOMETIMES
Keep a secret if I told you one: OF COURSE
Loan me some cash: IF I HAD SOME
Hold my hand: ALREADY HAVE
Take a bullet for me: YOUR ONE OF THE FEW
Keep in touch: ALWAYS
Love me: I DO
makeout with me: BEEN THERE
hold me in times of need: FOREVER

hardcorehand @ 2004-09-22T23:20:00

2004-09-23T06:54:33Z

i dont want to play anymore.

im tired.

my heart hurts.

im so glad to have a computer again.

2004-09-08T00:40:53Z

woah. its been a long time...
over two years since my last entry. aww. my journal.

hardcorehand @ 2002-08-04T16:52:00

2002-08-05T00:03:54Z

i miss my friends. a lot. i want to leave arizona.

utah is so awesome, i went and visited emily. i dont know if i could live away from my family though.

hardcorehand @ 2002-07-17T00:10:00

2002-07-17T07:13:05Z

i love matty. im soooooo glad that were hanging out again.

i miss everyone...
ollie,emily,crystal,kayla

kill me

4-2-0 !

2002-04-21T00:17:38Z

prom. too much anxiety for a school dance.

word on the street.. tonight.. the biggest party ever.
whos not going to be there?
ha

well chris is ready.
yeah.

hardcorehand @ 2002-02-24T11:02:00

2002-02-24T18:09:04Z

i was thinking about changing my pic but thats exactly what im talking about...
:(

hardcorehand @ 2002-02-24T10:52:00

2002-02-24T17:59:19Z

3 months until i escape.
not to much longer.

why is it a requirement to be depressed..

2002-02-24T17:57:10Z

i miss my old life. it seems like no matter where i am or who i hang out with, about every year my life changes. and i like it but in some ways i dont. i miss people that i used to hang out with. theat just blow me off now. i guess im the only one that thinks about it,
you think that your such good friends with someone then when they leave you realize what the freindship really was.
i once heard a poem at a work seminar (at 9 on a saturday the morning that i had to wake up and go to) i cant remember the whole thing but it said something like... freinds come into your life to make a certain impact and then when their job is done they leave. only a few will be your freinds forever.
so, i get that. but its still effin sad.

let me lie

2002-01-28T04:56:10Z

im fine.

hardcorehand @ 2002-01-27T21:51:00

2002-01-28T04:53:00Z

hang on
hang on
it gets better
when
am i chasing something that doesnt want to be caught
stop
wait
im trying
hang on
hang on
how long
im so tired
when will it come
i hate standing in line
i want to be next
now
im moving but i cant feel it
am i shaking
am i here
dont wake me up
im so tired
hang on

i just cant.

hardcorehand @ 2002-01-27T21:47:00

2002-01-28T04:48:33Z

i hate my journal.
why wont someone show me how to work things on here.
movie=depression.

rub it in crystal.

work>school>work>school..
dang my life if non stop fun.

hardcorehand @ 2002-01-21T22:39:00

2002-01-22T05:39:05Z

i hate cold weather.
i love and miss my friends.

hardcorehand @ 2001-12-25T22:05:00

2001-12-26T05:02:03Z

boys are really pathetic.

dont go see the movie ali. its horrid.

im in a downward spiral.

hardcorehand @ 2001-12-20T17:45:00

2001-12-21T00:44:17Z

i hate knowing the truth about life.
and finding out who your real friends are. it sucks when you think someone is something that theyre not.

then it like when you do know who your real friends are, you cant hang on to them.

i dont know. it makes sense in my head.

hardcorehand @ 2001-12-20T17:44:00

2001-12-21T00:41:56Z

happy 18th emily!

i miss you, you too crystal. come back asap.

hardcorehand @ 2001-12-20T17:42:00

2001-12-21T00:40:54Z

i should stop drinking so much.

i love the fact that kaylas here. i hope i can convince her to move back. it would do her good.

my new job is rad. i hope its as fun as expected.
last day at mervyns tomarrow.
god get me through it.

people really dont grow up, out of highschool

2001-12-11T00:40:25Z

do you think that this weekend could have got any crazier.

some guys always have to fight about everything. i hate that. it doesnt prove anything to anyone. friday night was the perfect example of that.. second to saturday.

i hate dumb people. and people that cant handle their alcohol. that is the worst. if youre going to drink than know how. and how much you can take.
retard.

i also hate guys that think constantly with the head downstairs. it like, do you have a brain. erg.

by the way.
i love dating.

hardcorehand @ 2001-11-28T17:37:00

2001-11-29T00:42:36Z

i have never picked up a hitchicker. not that i remember, anyway. until today.
i guess he wasnt technically hitchicking. but he was walking.
me. chris.
navy drunk man walking.
in my car.
smelled like beer.
told stories.
bonded with chris on the armed forces.
graduated from greenway in '87.
wow.
he hugged me.

what the heck do i want?

2001-11-09T00:43:47Z

ollie must hate me.. "i hate people that dont know what they want."-ollie

i am so completely confused with everything in my life right now.

monsters inc. was absolutely amazing.

i cleaned my car today.. whoa. whoa.
its so clean. now im going through one of those, im not going to drink, eat, smoke or anything in my car. that will end in like two seconds.

why is everyone so set in their ideas and lifestyle except me? all i can do is dream about what i want. and who i want to be. its my favorite past time.

i keep getting headaches. its so ridiculous.

why do i hate my life...

2001-11-03T22:09:20Z

my english teacher told me that i have gotten used to being unhappy and that it works for me. hmmm.

i need to cheer up and stop hating my life because i hate my job. i am so lame.

new hair cut. whoa.

mosters inc. is star wars relived. for real.
the line last night was phenomenal.

6 months till graduation. countin the days.

hardcorehand @ 2001-10-12T11:27:00

2001-10-13T19:35:17Z

dood. why does he have to be so nice? that makes it really hard to get mad at him.

i should have gone back over to kate's last night. oh well.

hardcorehand @ 2001-10-12T11:14:00

2001-10-13T19:31:19Z

i remember when i was a kid and used to go door to door trying to sell stuff, it was humiliating.
(some kids just came over.. so i was flashing back.)

sometimes boyfriend just makes me so angry.
example, last night. err.
i dont even want to talk to him today. i am actually still debating it.
but he really didnt do anything. i guess im just lame, i dont know. whatever. boys smell.

i was surprised at how good wes's band was. i had heard them at the house practicing. but they were a lot better on stage.

ollie needs to call me.